The Awakening of the Force Generation
by Jack Russel
Summary: Star Wars is back! New stories and adventures. This is a tribute to the new Star Wars film for rescuing the series and giving it new life. A warrior fights for the safety of the universe against its dark past and dangerous future. To create a new age and generation. The force Generation! P.s this It gets really good in the second chapter and after so stick with it!
1. Chapter 1: The Force Generation

The Awakening of the Force Generation

Authors notes: The new star wars film is amzxing I already watched it 15 times and I'm going to sea it another tine it is brillnat. But I have this stupid freind Mike who said it sucks cause it dont follow the Extended universe and that dinsey runied it! what!. This so much better then Extended universe I mean none of the storie in that made any snes and they all controdicted each other. Disney had to kill cause it was the suck! Disney have made Star wars 1000 time better like they did with HBODD and Marvel and I watch the orinetal films a million times. JJ Arbarms is a genius ands I make this fanfic as tibue and this story is also anti Exten uni. So no Etended Universe fans!

Jackrac Starstrider is an awsome jedi and bounty hunter he new all the cool moves and had awsome weepons. He worked for the good side but has a dark side that torments him. Hes like the guy in the witcher combined with Boba fette and Dath Mual. But he lived in the Extended universe and hatdted it. It was the lame nothing made sense, everthing conrodicited itslef like pepole who had died whould be alive again and the plots where so boring, all aload of boring poltics writen by old men who make like 50£ a week and think they rich. Which isnt anything cause I saw mah dad had over a thousnd in his bak and I thinked that we were rich. But than he told me that its not realy that mcuh money these days.

Anyway Jackrac Starstider was in a space bar and drinking than a guy came in and said "the emporer has bean cloned again and is trying to take over then universe" everbody scremaed and started looting and killing and raping everthing in panic. Jarack put his hand over his face and sayed "Go cant these Extended universe writers think of anythging orginal. At least Ill look cool while killing more stromtroopers and kicking the empores but".

He was going to his cool Spaceship which he had custum build like my gaming desktop but than a guy came over and said "Jarack dont I'm you son from teh future! Cause on the way there you will sleep with a hot sexy alein woman and get her the pregnants which make her evan hotter but you dye from a cosmic art attack beacue of so much organsm".

"Wow thats the way I wated to dye" said Jarack with and he walked faster to the ship and saw the hot alien woman and she was hotter then any model. "No Jarack if you do the expnded universe will get evan worse the writers made her so they can kill you off. They no the won't able to reist her. I end up fighting along cide her against the emporers son who turns out to be me half brother. Then I'm stuck in a ship with Jar Jar Binks and that gay robot and evrybody luths at me for going to battle with my mothers help, even Jar Jar lauths at me"

"Wow that really sucks and I wount whant mah son to be such a loser what can I do?" "Go back in time and stop the expanded universe from being made. Kill Mara Jade and Thorn so that the Extneded universe never happens and a better universe is mad instead." He gave Jarack the his time device and told me how to use it. But than the hot alein woman came towards him and she was so HOT. So his future son activaded the time deivce and sent Jarack to Torns time at the end of ROFDJ. Jarack found he was on Torns ship.

Than he herd Thorn giving a speech in the comand roomed, Jarak whent in and herd the sppech it was so boring. "Blah blah blah blah blah" and officers were falling asleep or deing of old age. A woman who whent thought pegnancy and gave birth and the child become an adullt and whent to collgae got a jub and dyed of old age and thorn was stilling giving speech. "Blah Blah Blah". So Jarak got missle luncher out and syed "I'm going to send you back to the smuffs" and fired. "Oh no I will not be able to enact poiltical plan" sayed Thorn and deaded.

All the milltary dudes where going to try and kill Jarak but he got out palns for the Starkiller ice planet Base. "This is evan more badass than the death satyr and it will kill all the rebels in one hit". They all thinked it was a brillant idea and stated looking at it. Than Jarak snuk away with his steath ablities. It was a good job he was in disuguase as he would looke like a traitor he was olny helping the empire to make sure the extened universe wouldt be back.

Than Jerack sole a ship to looked for Mara Jade. He knew what ship she was on due to recoards of the past. Than after an hour he stoped in a bar and saw her. She was drinkin and thinked alowed "Oh my what shall I do with my little old self. I do have to kill that there Luke Skywalker for putting me out of a job." Than Jarack came over "well howdy there, Ive aways relied on the kindess of strangers could you give me a lift to the empire". Than Jarak "No Im hear to kill you" said Jarack and he pulled his lightaber. "Well look what we've got hear a bounty an't nobody killed me, some fokes have tried. I'm there best fighter there ever is" Mara Jade said "Well I'm from the future and even better" so the erpic battle happened.

All teh bar started shouting "fight fight fight" and it was such an epic battle with suo much happening but it was quick like a thunder crash. It was over in secounds and Jarak had choped Mara Jade. "Gol darn I'll be gol danged, might could beat yall, yall rascal varmet" her head sayed and sher dyed.

Than everybody cheer and boardt Jarak drinks and he through he boady in the trash compacotr and had alot to drink. Than he whent into the future and was so drunk that he crashed his ship into a planet. Than he woke up the next day to see it being scavanged by a hot woman "what is name" he axed "My name is Rey and this my planet". She was very good looking.

To be countued


	2. Chapter 2: A New Age

Chapter 2: A New Age

Jarack was on a strange palnet now and there was onlt him and this woman. Nothing around but heartles dessart and slavers. This was a dessert planet and nothing grew here nothing lived here. He said to Rey "What is this planet? Where can I find civilsation". "This is a lone planet a no where in the unvieres. I have civislation V on my computer if that's what your looking for" :)

"Very funny but I was looking for the Jedi" Jarack said "they were waped out by the first oder" Rey told him "First oder you didn't tell me this was a restuant :)" Jarack joked back "Very funny but the First Order are very evil dudes they whant to kill all jedi and bring back the empire" Rey saId with seriousnes, as this is a serious mater. Than a stormtroper came in with a GUN!

Jarack pulled out his super cool lightsaber but Rey said "NO!" Rey said "That's Finn hes good and isnt working for evil anymore. He is on our side" so Jarack put his lightsaber back as he is a man of honor like King Author and his knights. Jarack than said "We have to stop the first order". "Yes that should be our first oder of duty" Finn said and everbody luthed beacuse it was funny.

They made plans to constuct a super ship out of all the over ships on the planet. It was the hard work and it took them awhile. They were just about to finsh whernt there was Sandpepole. "Kill them and bring my there bones" said one. Than huge battle happend there was blaster fire going everywhere. Finn was killing some with his blaster, Rey was using force abillites and Jarak was using his lightsaber. Soon they killered them all.

They than built the ship and whent to orbit. It was not long until they left the solar system and they were in outer spaced. "Where are the first order" Jarack asked. "I'll find one of their bases on our map." She put in some codes and the locaton of a base was now on the glaxcy map. They flew there and arived. Than space ships attacked them, the firied back and did major damage. Destoying them. "My first oder is a can of ass kicking and I aways deilvor on time" Jarack said in an awsome way.

Than one of those big spaceships that are shape like pizza slices came and satrested firing phasers and rockets. So Jarack fired a super laiser and a topdo at them. It blew up. Than they sent transfomer space ships after them. IT was along an tough battle with exzplosions and mini spaceships. but thery win.

Than they sae the base and Jarack heart frose it was the Starkiler the very same base that he had given plans for in the past to the empire genrals. These were the new empire and this was a threat he created. The base was very powerfull and strong. They flew to attack but Jarack new that they couldnt take it. IT was a long but short battle the Starkiller him them with a power blast and they were going down. Jarack thinked that this was then end.

THan the millium falcon appreed and recuced them. "That was a close one you were almost takne down kid" said Hand Solo and Chewie "bruuuhe". Jarack said "I herd legands about you, your Hand Solo". "That I am" Hand Solo said back, "Who are you" Hand Solo said again. "I am Jarack Starstrider" Jarack said to the piolt of the Millium Falcon. "Never herd of you, what about you too" Hand Slol axed. "My name is Rey" said Rey "and I'm Finn" Finn explained.

"Well your some of the strangest pepole I met. Since a long time" Hand Solo said to Jarack, Finn and Rey. "Muughughh" Cewie said in agreement. Jarack then asked a question "can you take us to civilsation?" and Rey held up her copy of Civisation V which she saved from the expldoing ship and everybody luthed as this is very funny.

They whent to lightspeed and it was just like the first films only better and they reached a village on a main planet that was in the gallaxy.

They arrived at a bar for tarrlvelrs. There was a band playing and all the pepole were drinking or playing cards. So Jarack when to the barkeep and asked "what can you tell me about the first order" than the band stoped palying and everbody stoped drinking. "The first order?" the barkeep asked. "Yes" Jarack said back. "What can I get you?" the barkeep asked. "Sorry?" Jarack said "well you get the first order what can I get you". "Ill have a jork berger and chips with a wiskey". "YOU WON" shouted the barman and everbody danced. Jarack and evrybody won a fre meal each.

"The pepole hear are insnae" said Han Solo "No they juset like games and they had a first oder comption to see who gets the right order" Finn said as he understood the little guy as when he was a stormtrooper he visted planets like this and new there customs and he had seen this event before.

After that they all got rooms and promised to go seprate ways for now. They were going to meet later at the new rebel hide out to plane how to deal with the First Order and its evil.

Jarack when to his room and unpacked. It was been along day and he needed to sleep. The first oder was the new threat and he was exicted about fighting them. They had a huge army lots of spaceships and other stuff. This would be an action packed adventure unlike the boring nonsecial Ex

Than his thinks were inturtued by Rey coiming into his room naked. She was really hot and even thouh her boobs did look big behind her clothes she had big milk makin machines. "You are like no other man Ive ever met! Take me now" Rey said and they had great amzing sex.

To be countued


	3. Chapter 3: The Old World

Chapter 3: The Old World

Authors notes: I got a note saying that Jarack Starstrider could not have stoped the extended universe cause he only stoped the new stuff that happened after the revenge of the jedi and not the old reuplic so I write this new chapter. *Sigh* cause Jarack Starstrider would want to finsh the job. So I had to come up with a reason why he would have to go back. It is a little weird but still I write it anyway

Jarack Starstrider had had sex with Rey and than Obi Won came as a force goast from the past and sayed with vengange "Jarack Rey is actually yor sister and now you'll have to go back in time and stop yourself from having sexy times with her". So Jarack Starstrider activated the time divice and whent back.

He saw heself and said "Jarack" and he looked anround and saw him "It's me" Jarack Starstrider said to Jarack Starstrider. "But your me" Jarack Starstrider said back, "Yes I'm you from the future" Jarack Starstrider told Jarack Starstrider. "What have you got to say me" Jarack Starstrider said to himself. "Don't have sex with Rey, she's your sister" Jarack Starstrider said with warninhg to Jarack Starstrider. "Aww dam and I was looking foward to that" Jarack Starstrider said and "there are better looking women out there so don't worry" Jarack Starstrider said back. "Your'e right" Jarack Starstrider said to his future self.

Jarack Starstrider than went back to the present. There he Obi on who gave the message which said "Jarack Starstrider you need to do more work the extended universe is still live. You must go back and stop the old repbulic from extiance". So Jarack Starstrider said "what more time travel this is stupid. I thinked that it was over whent I killed Martha Jade". "Maria Jade wasn't the only extended universe, kill more" so he (Jarack) wenti back.

He arrived at the old rebpilic and it smelt of the extneded universe and he hated it. But how would he destroy the extended unvierse? Then he had idea "I know" said Jarack Starstrider and he used the multi universe button on his time divice to got the voyger star trek world and take that time travel ship from year of hell that can erase time and make it diffrent. Than he whent to the old rebliuc and erased everytinhg.

Jarack Starstrider had secussed the misson and than he got back to the present. and it was all well.

Authors notes: Ok that's stupid part out of the way back to the story.

Jarack Starstrider was now in the inn again. He went to his room and went to sleep. The next day it was the mission time but first it was training. He trained with Han Solo and Han Solo was impressed. "'Ive never seen talent like that in a long time" Han Solo siad. "Mooo" Chewiie said in agrement.

The Mission was to go and get the plans for a new scerte base build by the frist order before it is built. They got into the spaceship and went light speed. It was a while until they would get there so they played cheese and cards. Than they watched films and made fun of them like that stupid film birdman. They luthed at how boring it is and how Chris Nolan is the only good batman.

They got to the hideout and it was guarded by the stormtropers and a super two legged war car. There was also alot of spaceships most being upgraded ones or new models. Luckly the ship was put in space mode so it would go even quiter. Like the stealth amour in Fallout 3 which is a game I used to play back a few years ago before Fallout 4 came out.

They entered the base undicated and it was still being built. So they qucikly arived at the comand center where the head of the builders and first order genral were talking. "I will make this base the best and all shall no how great I am. THen I will kill all the rebels and mount their heads above my fireplace. HA HA HA HA£ First oder genral luthed. "That is great now where do you want the bathroom put" the builder aseked, "All the bathrooms in the hall and personal one for me cause I am great" the first oder genral said.

"He thinks he's paying minecraft or the sims but soon he'll be playing Call of Duty" Jarack Starstrider said, "well give them a good match too" said Rey, "Year I can kill fifty guys in a row" said Finn, "I enjoy a good match" siad Hans Solo. But it was more like steath mode on Skyrim they picked of stormtroopers with out being seen and took the plans making a cop to take their place.

They then stethed back to the ship picking guys of on the way there. They got there with out beig seen like the true masters of stelth. "Few I thinked I would have to fight Maria Jade again" Jarack Starstrider said in realife. "Who's Mara Jade" said asked Hand Solo "never mind" Jarack Starstrider responded with even more relaf. He had stoped the extened universe it was confrimed now!

Then there was a whole fleet of spaceships from the first order so they had to seatlh by them too. It was a very hard this time as it was coud very be easy to get caught. They soon got my though and it was almsot home run.

They then stoped at a rest stop on the way back. It was nessary as the rebel base is along way away. They did food there and there was good music palying. THan Jarack Starstrider got a room and was going to go to sleep. But Rey came in "Hey weren't we going to have sex" Rey said, "Well well well, no cause" Jarack Starstrider treid to say but Rey was stary. "Whats rong I thinked you were a reel man" Rey saids "Rey you are my ..." Jarack Starstrider began to say

Than attack!

To be countued


	4. Chapter 4: The Epic Battle And New World

Chapter 4: The Epic Battle and The New World

Than the first order came thought teh doored. THey had guns and weapons and were aming tham at Jarak Starstrider and were going to a shoot him at any momment and he was ready to shoot back at them and it was going to be an epci battle of shooting and laisers and lightsabers with one leaving as victor and the battle almsot began. "Jarak Starstrider we are hear to killer you and you woman and your firends" said the first oder gerald "Over my dead body" Jarak Starstrider said back.

THan the epice battle began the badguys were shotting at the good guys and Jarak Starstrider was perfomring feets of arms with his lightsaber and defeclting the lasier bullets back at the badguys and killering them. Rey was using force powers to throw objects at the stormtroopers and make them squish. Then Jarak Starstrider did kung fu moves and kill alot of villians. Rey did kung fu moves like the bride in Kill Bill and kill them in stlye cause she is the ricneiation of theh bride. Then Jarak Starstrider mad his lightsaber into a double lightsaber and hit many badmen. It was so epic that my woerdfs can no describe even if I was to a write on millon chapetser about the epic battke.

Jarack than used super false powers and it was like if the martix and star wars combined. Than a giant droid was sent to kill our heros. It had a gaint rocket luncher, two flame throwers, twin mini guns, a plamsma throwers, no pistols buit sper pistols and a mosnter creator. The baltte was monsterously epic and Jarak Starstrider and Rey used epic moves like never seen before. After hour of fightering the robot was stoped and exploded. The pepele in the bar was scared as the first order were hear. "What is the furst order then what do yo whany" a waiter at the bar axed. The genral of the first order sigh and sayed "we should of called ourselves somthing esle".

Then the first oder waer loosing and the good guys were wining. "We have alsomst killered all the badmen" said Rey "then we have one last eimmie to kill the final boss and it would the hardist one to fight" said Jarak Starstrider. Than the genral got up and said master I failed you and took a mosnter potion. He turned into a super master monster and attacked them with great fury. It was a horrible battle and the space station was almost destoryed in epice explosion. The shock frightenmed all the pepoile and made horror. THen after a long and powerfull battle they killed. "THat first order guy was sich a loser" Jarak Starstrider sayed, "Yeah looks like he's bean fired" Rey sayed.

THen the gernals force goast came out and sayed "make way for Darth Kylo Ren!". Than the main villain came in and said "I will put down these rebel scum and it was time for epic battle". They hit light saabers and made laisers. "Ha ha Gay" a guy said and Kyleo shoot him with the sith gun. This killed him. "Shut up looser" said Kylo Ren. Then they fort even more and they were using epic force moves. and then pepole were killinged.

They were throwing objects at each other and the laisers were being fried. The rockets were hiting and blowing pepole up and the were more epics. Than Kylo shotr lighting at Jarak Starstrider this was painfull. THen it went like for this for a while. This was until Jarak Starstrider used defecltion skills but it wasn't enough "He is still powerfull'" said Jarak Starstrider. THan Kylo Ren stoped and said come back when you;re are worth my time. The Jarak Starstrider shouted "come back I'll killed you, you ate my nemious". So Jarak Starstrider pulled anew lightsaber luhcer but it was too later and Ren escaped.

Jarak Starstrider thunped the grounded and sayed "he got away it is my nemisiis now" so Jarak Starstrider whanted revenged. He new what he had to do save freedom. Howevered the space sation was about to go boom. Then Jarak Starstrider and Finn and Han Solo and Chewiue and TRey gaverede up the surviors to an escape shit. To leave the station. It was a dramatic escape. The ship took off at the sped of infinity. The station wenbt of like a million supernoves. They beary esacped and got to the safe space. IT was like ten action films times infinty.

"That was a relf now let's have sex" said Rey "Rey I am your Sister" Then Jarak Starstrider said. "That is imposible" Rey said now come on let us have sex time. "No " Jarak Starstrider and his wise man vame in "Jarak Starstrider you have to go to the reel world to stop the expnaded universe from ever exsting. "How would I do this" asked Jarak Starstrider "You must find the star gate and use it to scape to the real world" the genius man sayed. He was like Q from star track only made of gold.

Them he sent him the directions to the planet where the star gate to the reel world was. "Beecarfull beacuse it is very boring in the reel world. you could dye from bordom in the reel world! So Many taxes and work. All that boring old pepole stuff and adult repsonblites that would drive anyone insnae. You have to the same job all day or stuck in shcool with boring teacher or have you dad not let you stay up late and watch wressling. Than yor stuck on one planet it's worst than any sith wolrd."

"I'll have to do it" said Jarak Starstrider said He had faceded the msot dangerous palnets, powerfull sith, giant space monster, dinsores, cyber disnosres, demons, hell monsters, sipders monsters, fire men, ice men, liasier monster, godzilla's, mental demons robots, spaceships, empires, expert fighters and more. Jarak Starstrider now faced his greaterst threat the real world the most boring palce in the multiverse with work, taxes, school, newspapers, poltics, the news, getting struck in traffic, stocks and other boring old pepile stuff.

Would Jarak Starstrider survie let's find out in the next chapter of The Awakening of the Force Generation!

To be countued


	5. Chapter 5: Finding the Gate

Chapter 5: Finding the Gate

They left to find the star gate in oder to get to the reel world where Jarak Starstrider would face hios touthest challanged yet. THe were seeking it out following the dirrections to the star that crossed dimentstions and worlds and brought the harmany of the univeresd to gethered. This was the new quest.

Jarak Starstrider drank a drink of beer and talked with his sister Rey who now new that Jarak Starstrider was his sister. "I never new that you were are my bother". "Yes it was a grest shock to us all" THan another ship came.

Then a supership cam with missiles and nukes andf super lizers, it was so big that it made the sun look small. It fired all weepons at that then and they crashed into a desserted moon in the middlke of nowhere. "Wow that was power how are there spacships like this we should become more powerfull" Jarak Starstrider saided.

After some waiting a ship came to help them. It was Luke Skywalker in his pink spaceeship, with a disco ball on it. The ship landed and Luke came with his band of mussle men. "Oh hi guys" he said and slaped his ass "I sea you in a spot of bother, well you can come aborad but behave". "What happned to you Luke you used to be cool" siad Jarak Starstrider "Oh I was than I wheant gay. I am a big hommo And I like to take it up the ass". "Yes Luke whent gay after beeting the empire". "Oh girl I've always been part of the ymca Luke Skkywker said and he started singing the song ymca". "That is why Dath Vader really wanted me dead 7beacuse he found out that his son was gay and Darth Vader is Homerphonic".

So they went into the Luke Ship that was rated the most fashionable ship in history. To go with the gayest man in the universe Luke Skyweakler. They started off as Luke Skyrim started playing his favorite song in the navy or in the gayvy. Then as got to the last word "You can sail the seven sees girl" luke Skywanker said and smaked his ass so loud that it sounded like a firework.

"Wern't you marryied to a hot red head?" Jarak Starstrider know that was the extended univurse but he couldn't take Luke Skywalker savior of the universe being such a faggot. "Eww a girl why would I do that i get cuuties" Luke Skywalker said. So Jarak Starstrider showed Luke a picture of Mara Jade "Eww wat a skank like girl get with the times this that look is so old republic. Girl you try to give to me I'll give it right back" Luke Skywalker siad. Than Jarak Starstrider new that he was beyound savining he was so gay that it wasn't even possible to describe. One of the grestest badass in the universe was now a huge gay qeuer. Yet now thinking about it Luke Skyrimwalker was always a bit a wuss but he was never a fagry.

"Who is this hunk" Luke asked and started coming on to Jarak Starstrider. Jarak Starstrider now felt wakward. He poltley refused still not refusiuing to insult the Jedi master. THan Luke siad "Well I could not have my man but sill I want my shoes shined and a make over". Then they soon got to the the planet near the gateway cause it has the gateway on it.

Jarak Starstrider said "Said not heros we have to find the gateway it is on the planet and it should be easy so lets do it" Jarak Starstrider said. Jarak Starstrider wanted to fidn it. "I know where it is and I will help but only if you service me" said Luke so.

So beamed on the planet and waent to explore to and find the gatewate. THeis awas the Gotic planet world and it had medieival knights and pepole were dying of the plague. the was an evil cult worshinpng the gate way in their gaint castle. They got the town and the villgers were working the feilds around it and knights were riding horoses. Than they got the the centre where a woman was beeing burnt a the stake.

"Leave this's town is haunted by evil vampires that come in the night and steal pepoles soles. The plantes are evil and monsters walk at night as well" the man said. "Wherew are the monsters come from" asked Rey "that castle" wiseman of the village said. "Thank you kind man" said Rey and they left for the caslte. But than a man said "than woman is which burn her burn her burn her burn buirn burn Burnie" up stepps caslte and saw the evil cult caslte. The Villagers didn't not follow as they were to scarted of the cult.

Than a were wolf aaatakced them and it was a fight but they one. Jarak Starstrider was cool in that fight and so was Rey. THan there was zombies and sekligntons on the near the castle and they fort through them.

Then the castle was near and the got in there was many hooded figures stood round chanting "WE Have laisers and light sabers and they have mediival stuff we can win" said Jarak Starstrider go ready to kill. Than a assain droped down to kill Jarak Starstrider "Kill Jarak Starstrider cill Jarak Starstrider killer Jarak Starstrider killa Jarak Starstrider Clinton Jarak Starstrider" he had a big ake. than it was an epuce battle but so epic that the world sttod still but didn't as this is just a metaporhot.

Jarak Starstrider killed the assain and they attakced the cultlests but it was a trap as the was no one uinder the clockes but air. "Ha Ha Ha your going on a Cruise to hell and not to space you stand no chance to beat me I know sith magic" the cult leader said. Jarak Starstrider luthed "You medeival dark age guys can't beat me I have modern weepons" "Ha Ha Ha Jarak Starstrider I've got a Trump card" the cult leader said and pulled out mega light sabers and pushed a button and invsible sith warriros attacked.

"Not only that but we got Luke Skywalker" said Jarak Starstrider. Luke Skywalker had got lost in the caslte lkabyrath and the cultists trapped him in a poto sack while he was trying to unlock a door. Now there were going to sacrifice him to a huge dragon. "Help Me Help ME I broke a nail" said Luke Skywalker as he was being lowered.

Jarak Starstrider fort off the ivisible sith but saw that the potal was going to close so he would loose his optunity to go to the real world. So he said said to rey "You deal with this distack them and fight them while I got to the real world this is my desnity", "Buy Brother" we'll meat later" said Rey than he used the optunity to jump into the portal.

Now he was in the real world in the body of his actor who is one of the hottest guys in the wolrd with the body more muslcure than Arnold sawornsiniger ever was but with looks more smooth than Jame Bond or that guy who plays that pussy vampire in Twlight. Every girl wanted to sleep with him but he was married to the hottest woman on earth who looked better than evan Michelle Keegan. Her body was amzing and her breasts were breath taking he had to sleep with her now. So he did.

Than after he had sex he sgined atograths and used hsi swiming pool and race around in his luckty car. Than the advisor apeared as a force goast "Jarak Starstrider you have to go back in time to the 90s to stop the expanded universe from being written do than now and then leave.

The Real world may seem fun now but you soon have to do taxes and car insurtance and have to watch plotics and do business meatings. THan you''ll dye of boardem". He gave Jarak Starstrider the Tinme device so Jarak Starstrider wheant back in time.

He lnaded in the ninties with the time that Gta San andereas was set in and some world events and intresting msuic and films. Now Jarak Starstrider was there on 90's carry out his mission and assiantion.

To be Countued


	6. Chapter 6: A Whole New World

Chapter 6: Another World

Jarack Star Strider was now in the nities and he needed a disguse but he was also in the hollywood of the nities and there was Angelina Jolie when she was in her prime with a great body and amazing breasts. He walk up and surduced her and they had sex in a feild and he was blown away. She wasn't as good as his lover that his actor had in the furute but still damn.

Jarak Starstrider than had to get to his next stop his disuges he found ou there was a grudge band recurtring and he joined as the blating bombs. They were going to perfom at a concert hall.#

Jarack whent there and walked into the nintendo confnrance by mistake where the virtual boy was being shown off. Jarak Starstrider was discusted then he gated crashed the show and said "the virtual boy is a peice of shit" than he gave an angry video game stlye review and took a shit on it.

Than he said "virutal reality suck in the future it sucks and it will always be a fad. The only pepole that thinks it will work are deluded pepole who think that robots will make them liver forever os somthing its a fad. The vive, playsation vr and oclous will fail just like this had" and he threw it in the bin were it cought fire and exploded like boom. Everbody cheered at how badass Jarak Starstrider is and James Rolfe was in the audance making notes "When the internet comes out I'm going to make a show based on this badass atidue and call it the Angry Video Game Nerd" James Rolfe said and a legand was born.

Then Jarak Starstrider wheant to the graude and concert bursting on stage like a true badass and playing with his eltric getar and full power. THery played all the metal hits and Jarak Starstrider used some new ways of playing to make more badass and some moethds from the 2000s and 2010s of making metal. All were stoned in the aduance at this amzing sound and one of the guys who organised rang out his friend who was also a music guy and it said "You that New Sound You're Looking For well listen to this" and put his ninties phone to the concert so it would play down the line and his freind came instanly when he had heared it. Jarak Starstrider was busting all the moves and pepole were amzied and amzing . Than they cheered and after the concert ended they got autograths and chered and left stoned.

Jarak Starstrider was give out lots of autograths and stuff and sleep with gropuies. THan he went backed an chilled with his gang and did drugs and lived the rock and roll life stlye. He went on tour and became the most popular musican of the 90's and got to have great sex with all the hottest 90's women itheir prime like Salma Hayek, Denise Richards, Elizabeth Hurley, Demi Moore, Shania Twain, Claudia Schiffer, Sharon Stone, Jennifer Love Hewitt, Liv Tyler, Pamela Anderson, Yasmine Bleeth, Catherine Zeta-Jones and may more all had great bodies and breats and he expraicned tham all. He was the greatest of the greats.

He was in his hotel room with Cindy Crawford nake buy his side they had jsuit had great sex and it was hot and sexy and amzing. She had blown him away with the sex that they had. He was sleeping with so many hot women that he didn't want to leave the 90's. She was holding on him and she lit his cigar and he was a badass. Then a force ghost came it was the advisor and he told him Jarack You still have to kill the writer of the frist expanded universe story. "Ok you keep telling me I'll do it all ready". Than after more concerts and sex with amzing women this time Sarah Michelle Gellar he came to the hometown of Timothy Zahn.

Timothy Zahn was in a cafe dinner writing when Jarack came in and than the radio gave an anomument "News Bullenten The Soviet Union has just fallen, China has become capitast and Stalin has dead ending communism." the radio said. "dam it I was jsut going to start making my career as a communist and enrmy of merica now only Vitnam, Cluba amd north Korea or south korea are communism and they are too small and uncool to care about. I know I'll write Star Wars stories and make life that way" he said. Than Jarack came in with two sub machine guns and said "not today" and killed him.

Jarack Starstrider than went to his hotel room and had great sex with Alyssa Milano. He had just had sex when thhe gosat came said "Jarack the cops are after you" and than the door was kicked down. THan the roof was blown off and a polcie hellocopter was there a tank was outsdie and a swat team was coming in. The most powerfull aircarft carrior was outside in a port and an attack hellocopter was ourside also fighter jets with tommohalk missiles. The were also drones and othe stuff. "Edmund Dylan come out with youir hands up your murdering, atrocity commting, drug using, virutal reailty trashing, rockstar, womenising, women impregnating, orgy festing, drug taking, druken, sex adicted, musuic making days are over come quitly and we won't blow you to kidom come" said the police cheif who and ordered in the army, airforce, coastgurads and navy to stop Jarack Starstrider.

Jarack Starstrider than gave a dark look and sayed "not today" and pulled out his guns. Jarack Starstrider than started pulling off some sick matrix moves he machine gunned the cops and than shot the polet of the hellocopter and ir crashled into the tank and bothe wheant boom. Than the missiles were fired but Jarack Starstrider thinked quick and jumped off the roof and landed. THe hotel was blown up in a boom but Jarack Starstrider was too cool to lock back or care. He than shot the swat team up with an auto shotgun and the hello copter shot a rocket at him but he cughtit and threw it back. Jarack Starstrider than jumped on a jet and suffed it into the aircaft carrior casuing it blow all the aircaft up and sink the ship which whent to the bottom of the ocean. Jarack Starstrider had jumped onto a crane so he was safe but the police cheif was there "no one stops ploice cheif Mike McButch" he said but the crane was rigged and Mike MacButch fell in a mud puddle and started crying kicking and screaming. "Theres only one way to deal with this lunch the nukes" said the army guy and fire all nukes at the town but the nukes only hit the town and the goermeant had to pay the porpety damage. As it was too late and Jarack Starstrider had gone to the futre like back to the future (which by the way Disney should buy nexti so we cold hav a Back to the Future 4 and a Star Wars Back to the Future crossover MAKE IT HAPPEN!)

Jarack Starstrider than got to the future to his hot wife. He arrived at his mantsion and his buttler gave him a pile of papers "these are your taxes and bills fill them out", "But this is so boring" Jarack Starstrider said. Than the butler said "but you have to and also you have do paper work from work and the election is soon so you have to decide who to vote for here is the latet newspaper". "Poltics is boring i'm going to see my wife and have sex wit her" said Jarack Starstrider and started going to her room "she's visting a freind you can but first you have to look at your stocks sir" asid the butler. "awwe this was all so boring" Jarack Moned. So Jarack Starstrider looked at his stocks and did poltics which sucked. Than he drove to her freinds house to see her. But than he got stuck in traffic and the only thing on the radio was the news so boring all about currenmt events, the election and poltics, debate boring.

Jarack Starstrider than got the freinds house and kocked and was let in. Than he saw he wife and she was huge and pregnant, too huge. "What happend to you" Jarack Starstriderasked "you got me knocked up with nine babies and I'm going to give birth soon. I'm overdue". Than she broke water everywhere fell on the sofa and starting shooting babbies out like a canon. Jarack Starstrider was swamp with cildren and was going to have to change nappies and other boirng stuff. But than he was snet to the star wars universe again. He actor gained crontoll of his own body again and found himself swamp with chidlren but didnt care as he is a boring family man it also helped his acting carrer as well as he was seen to be a man of family.

Jarack Starstrider was now back in his old world and had made the mission complete. THere was a hot alein woman there on the otherside and he did sex with her. But than he rembered that the cultists were still going sacrifice Luke Skywalker to a dragon and Rey was still fighting them off. So he got changed and the alein woman turned into a sucubus so now he had to fight her and the cultists and the dragon and the sith lord.

To be countued


	7. Chapter VII: Star Wars Day

Chapter VII: STAR WARS DAY

Authers Notes: This is a star wars day speical and it was going to be uploded on May the 5th but I was had problems so here it is. A late Star Wars day speical. Also I whent to a litr class to make my wrting evan better.

Jarack Starstrider was fight the sucubuss and this was going well as he had to stop himself from being surduced by her horrible beatuy. He knew how to use the power and counterred her demon magic with his force powers. The two ere doing the epic battle and it was going long. But than Jarack Starstrider provailed and it was alswoman.

Jarack Starstrider than wheant to rescuse the others he was using his lightsaber like a pro and killing the cultists. Than Jarack Starstrider approched the dragon. The Dragon breathed fire at him but he used force sheild and made himself protect. THan Jarack Starstrider pulled out his lightsaber and fort long with dragon and after great paing he slew the dragon. Than Jarack Starstrider set Luke Skywalker fee.

"That dragon messed up my hair, thank for killing it. These cults can kill pepole, kidnaped and sulgter but messing up my hair was too much" Luke Skwalker said. "Brother how did the msision go" axed Rey "It wheant well I stoped the expnaded universe from being created by that communist Stalin, Lenin, Mao, Obma, Kim Jong Un, Hu Jintao, Putin loving traitor Timorth Zhann senindg him to ell" Jarack Starstrider said. "You did good" said Rey, "He is such a hunk I wish he was gay cuase I whould sex him real ghood" saud Luke Skywanker.

THan Rey said sotmhing "Jarack Starstrider today is Star Wars day and there is going to be a celibartion at the glaxy disco". "How would we get there?" axed Jarack Starstrider as they now had no ship to go in. Just as Jarack Starstrider had sayed this another ship came form the sky and out of it cane Finn.

"I found a new ship for us to go in come in guys" Finn sayed so they all got in and Finn flew them to a new planet. Jarack Starstrider, Han solo, Chewie, Rey ands Luke Skywaker was all there in the space shit flying to sapce disco.

THe flight was the cool and they got there. The doors opened to the greatest space disco after held and there was lights and music and pepole laying down the moves light speed stlye. THere was aleins from all the galaxy and even pepole from the past. It was grovey. Jarack Starstrider jumped on to the stage and statede laying down some moves/. THe Disco DJ was playing the coolest hita and Evan the Jedi Monks had come to grove.

Jarack Starstrider was doing to much cool moves and everbody was too amzaed and shocked. "He is like a god" said a guy, "I am not worth of his preancance" said a Jedi guy and killed himself out of shame. The gods themselves where moved to tears of envy. Than there was so much groove going on that there was to much groove. Than Rey gave dance which weas fart out.

Han was giivng all his orge carm and wit. Chews was dos the monster dancxe. Finn was doing cool dance and Luke was doing a gay homoertic dane and he got to sleep with alot of guts. Jarack Starstrider also got to sleep with manyt women that knight.

Than a super aleind came into the ring and said "I'm looking for Jarack Starstrider", So Jarack Starstrider came forward and sayed "I am Jarack Starstrider what is you ant", "I come from another galaxy far away from your one" the super alein said "Far out" said Rey. "I have come to challange you Jarack Starstrider the 'master of dance' to a dance off" the super alein said "chalange acpeted" Jarack Starstrider said.

Than dance off begin and it was so epic that pepole wheant blind from watching and some alsmot dyed of exitmeant. They were doing so many awsome moves that it was a wonder that the universe cold contain it. The dice gj was racing to keep up with their moves and all were shocked. Jarack Starstrider was making the disco king look like the disco peasnet and disco man look like a losser. But so was the super alein.

All were watch in surpence

All were watch in amazmeant

All Watch as the tians fort

It was like a shot in the night

that lit up everything and

made it bright.

IT was like disco in space

in another diementions

in the moon

beyound space and time.

It made all books and films look meaning lees

THan after so much epicness.

The Dance off was over but its epciness could still be felt to this day. But it epciness is only a small portion of how epic Di$ney will make star wars.

THan Jarack Starstrider was proclaimed the winner but by a narrow margin he was almsot beaten by the super alein. They shook hands and Jarack Starstrider asked the super alein "where do come from super alein" Jarack Starstrider asked the super alein. "I come from another universe far from here and someday our two pepole will meet and understand each over. You have proven yourself to be a worth race and willl shar culture and nolage but untilt that day I must leave" and so the super alein retunred to his dimention.

Jarack Starstrider waved hoodbye. and the party coutnuned. Then disco coutniuned. It was like party in sapce. All the Star Wars soundtrack was played and some of the most famous charactyers werew there like, the goast of Obi won, Genral Layah, Boba fett and some overs. But there was some pepole missing.

THan the front door blew up and it was Klye Ren and his first order. "You guys had a star wars party and now I'm crashing it" Klye Ren said. "You beat the super alein in a dance off but you wont beat me" Kyle Ren said and they did the dance off

There was so much amazmeantr and it was shocking the universe even more than before.

THan Jarack Starstrider one cause he had gained exprance points from beating the super alein.

"Your good Jarack Starstrider but I'm not impressed" Klye Ren said "prepair to meet your doomed" Kylo Ren said and Dath Vader came through. "awee its that homerpobe Simp y father" Luke Skywaler said ansd slaped his ass. "You are no liong my son cause you are gay" said Darth Vader "Whatever" said Luke Skywalker and waved his gay hand.

"I thinked that you were made dead" said Jarack Starstrider at Darth Vader "I was but I was made to come back to live so I can rule the Galaxy with the first oder". "Now Jarack Starstrider we shall have a dance off to match all overs and the universe will be shocked".

So they posed like cowboys about to have a shoot off out side a saloon like in the old black and white silent westers with John Wayne or Clint Eastwood. Than they did dance instead of fight like love over war and puppies.

Jarack Starstrider did an aswsome move like a nulcear bomb

So Darth Vader did a nutron bomb

THan Jarack Starstrider did a Hydrogen Bomb

Datrth Vader matched this with anti matter bomb move

Jarack Starstrider than used universe distroy bomb dance move

It was so epice dance moving that all couild not bleave that this was taking palce.

There was so much amaze

So much golry

So much ac tion

It dyifed the universe

It dfired extacne

It made every look like nothing

and nothing lock like everything

It made so much aswome

so mcuh kickass

So much brilance

That the unviesrse cold not contain it

the multiverse could not contain it

the multimultiverse could not contain it

Jarack Starstrider was almsot beaten and even he could barey keep up with this aswome

Yet he did and REy thrwe him and message of hop and he was impsitred. Than Jarack Starstrider attempted the most epice awsome badass and amzing move in exitance. Only one person had treid to puill off and he was the one who inverted it and he had varporised after trying it. So no one ever treid it untill now. Jarack Starstrider prefomed the move and ...

He sucseeded and won with such epsic glory that he was crowned the king of dance and has golden statue made of him in the disco hall of fame.

Darth Vader was beaten but he would be back the first order leaft. THis was proof that Disney was desintined to rule over Star Wars and Jarack Starstrider was their campion.

Now the god of the expanded universe would try and kill Jarack Starstrider for the exapnded universe was his favorite and he new now that Jarack Starstrider was Disney Chapion who was destined to conqur the extened universe. Let Disney be amzing on cinema. New Centre of Star Wars. To bring newt age with no extened universe.

How have you lost, how on a sudden lost. and now to Disney devote.

To

be

countued!


	8. Chapter VIII: RF1

Chapter VIII RF1

(4 rouage fource one)

AN: The exspanded universe was not make sense it was a convewrulted mess and expanded universe fans are supermanists and sexists. I red an article on the MarySue (wich is a stange websit cauase I thinked that MAry Sue was a bad thing, cause pepole keep calling my awsome charciters it) about EU fans and exprets like Sarah Dempster and DavidTLynchEsq were said that the EU movemeant are like Gamner Gate and say they whant stuff like eithic in the star wars universe whent really it is about bullying disnesy fans and forincg the EU on erveyone. Cause finn is black and they doint like women. Disney are for euqaality unlie the Expanded Universe and make it so all can enjoy star wars at diney land and have happyness. Alos Disney make safe zones for teh pepole and make strong women characters ands equal characters.

Anyway Jarack Star Strider was in his room having the sex with a hot four breasted alein woman with two virgnans and it weas the hot. The party was overed and he was doing the the hotest alein woman in the glalacy or at leasdty this section of it. They finsihed doing it and Jarack Star Stirdier pack the ship with all the stuff they will need. THe piolt was the best poilyt in the universe and he was flying another ship that would join them to attack the First Order base that had just bean built.

Thewy new Dartyh Vider was now back and a danger to the world again. They ships flew into hyperspace and shot across the universe until they got to the diesnation. this was the new vase that the 1st oder have built and it was eivl. Luckly they hade a army of thousands of space ships with them and they battle began.

Ships were expolding and things were blowing up. Then a boom happenined and a ship expoded., Lots of things were being blown up and there was so many explostions. THen a ship shot a torpedo at another ship and thjat ship shot one back. There was mass war everwere and thing were chotic. Ships were shooting laizers at other ships and they were sahooting back. Then Jacarak Starstrider did a really cool move and blew up a star destroyer. Than A planet exploded and a star weant boom.

THan a really big bad ship paoiulted by the captaion of evil came in and it was big and evil. Hand Solo who was now in the millium falcon wit Chewi wheant to war with it and bacd parts explode but it shot supper liasers at his ship and it was biger than the Minimal Falcan. But thant didnt not matter as Hand Solo was more detemed and skilled and other stuff and so shot back and did major damage to the other shir. IT was than ready for the finsihed and Jarack Starstrider id an awsome move doping massive damagife and than Luke #Skywalker came in his gay pink spaceshit and did no damage so Finn came in his awsome ship and did in final blow making it explode loik a supernove timnes 500 million times.

THan a laizer cut a man in half it was too much. There was to much destraction and nobody cold cope with all the deaf. THan a Stra Desyro fired a laizer missle and it hit the moon and destoyed that. The pepole were sad but kept fingithng and the first oder were evil and bad but nobody was scared of them. In fact all the jokes were made about them and the first order of aodering food. It became an internet meme in the star wars univerese and nobody could take the first odere seriously that was until Darth Vader came in in his death evil Spaceship. The ship had ten lizer cannons ten misslie luchers ten palmer throwers and more.

Than he blew up ten planets and made pepole sad. But Jarack Starstrider made fire atr him and it was cooler than Kill Bill but Darth Vader made his ship do a move that was cooler than the MAtrix. IT was a tense dramitioc battle that would make you sit on the esge of your seat in amzaemeant. Than Finn did attack and so did Hand Solo and Chewi inthe millipideium Falcum and Luke did atttack as well and so did Rey who was now in her ship. But it was not enough Darth Vader was the two powerfill and was hitting them with too many attacks. Than the Space Sation sexpolded as Leila in her ship had found the weki spot and killed it.

It was the celibration of victory but it wasnt cause there was a even bigger spactation as the spacesation that they were fight was a trick. The real spatiation was there and it was the one that was biger than a planet from the force awakens. So than it shot a powerfull attack and killed all the space ships apart from Jarack Starstrider's, Luke's, Finn's, Rey's, Lia's, Hand's and Chewies's. THey than forted they way into the station and entered. Shooting at badguys. Than they got to the centure and did attle with al the bad dudse.

Jarack Starstrider was doing aswoman moves and Rey was kicking ass and Finn was bing awsome. But Luke Skywalker was figthing them with balorina moves like a fairy "I never new there were dacing Jedi Warriors" said a stormtroper "neither did I" Luke SKywalker said and killered him. Than suped stormstoopers came in and did ultra battle. THan dark Jedi came in and it was the power battle. They were killing bad guys and there was lots of hooting and explotiertions. They were wiining even the dark Jeid were no match but than Klylo Ren came and Killed Hand Solo like in da film cause Hand Solo had got sperated and lost. "I am you son and I ate you" said Kolo Ren "ITs my time to dye" said Hand Solo and dyed.

Everybody was the sad and realy upset it would evan make Chuck Noris cry and he would wold never cyr at anying. One guy was so sad that he dyed and another expoded. It was a sad and very sad. Than Rey was kindnaped. And they had to retreat.

They gut away jsut in time before all wenat evil. TThan it was shown that they evil vase was targeting the rebel base and if the evil planet was not destroyed soon than all would be lost and that would be teh bad.

To be countued


End file.
